Jerkypants

Dear Mr. Switkin,

You don’t know me, and I don’t know you, but your image is now out there in a YouTube video being seen by millions, so whether you like it or not, people everywhere will, in a way, be looking to you for guidance. In both obvious and subtle ways. So I ask for your patience and for you to consider my unsolicited but sincerely heart-felt advice.

You are obviously an intelligent and talented engineer with a promising career in front of you. And you are a handsome man, no doubt about it. For those reasons, I implore you: Please update your hair style for the 21st century. A pony tail on a man broadcasts a silent but sure message that he is as relevant to today’s world as a brick-sized cell phone or an AOL email address. Your engineering ideas at Google are obviously futuristic and cutting-edge, but your public persona is stuck in the past as solidly as a frozen caveman. So please, for you, for me, and for men everywhere, please cut off that pony tail.

Sincerely,
Rene Flores